PRESENTS

"All right, films like this necessitate some sort of safety mechanism for reviewers. No one, and I mean NO ONE, should feel compelled to watch all of something as chintzy and stupid and lacking redemption as this. I couldn't get through it. I propose the E15 Rule: If, after 15 minutes, reviewers get a clear sense that further watching of a particular film could cause them irreparable harm and denigration of the soul, they can have the option of quitting, calling a code E15, and creating the abysmally low rating. On the other hand, some might be magnanimous, like Dirt, and watch all the way through looking for that one effect that is fascinating, such as someone ingeniously putting mashed potatoes on a wall and turning the entire set upside-down or some other such lunacy. As for me, I don't have that sort of patience and charity, so I calle, for the first time in Bitenight history, an E15 and urge everyone to not waste even 30 seconds on this piece of garbage. Amen"